Just Admit It, Part One

OK, this will feel good, I promise:

1             Just admit you really don’t give two fucks about Harper Lee’s new novel.

2             Reddit without the trolls is a blank web page with an empty submit form.

3             You wouldn’t have noticed Neil Young was missing from your streaming service if he didn’t mention it.

4             Sometimes, you tweet something heartfelt about the need for gender equality in the tech industry and then go to Pornhub right after.

5             While you fully support the boost that Caitlyn Jenner is giving to the transgender community, you have a sneaking suspicion she’s as much of a jackass as Bruce Jenner was.

6             You marvel at the achievement of the scientists who sent a camera 3 billion miles to get photos of Pluto. But when given the choice, you clicked through to an article on how to brew perfect coffee every time.

7             Though you’ve been given countless opportunities to understand the ins and outs of the Greek/Euro bailout deal (some of which have been boiled down to a single chart), if you were put on the spot, the best you could probably come up with would be, “Yeah, Greece. Wow, huh?”

8             You yelled at your kids while reading an article on limiting kids’ screen times.

9             You went back and watched Ariana Grande licking donuts a few more times, even after you had completed your thinkpiece on the subject.

10                       You’d be reasonably happy if the earth burst into flames just to get a chance to say “I told you so” to climate change deniers.

11.                  You once called for a soda tax while drinking a bowl of cheese dip.

(I can't remember who sent me this.  I'm telling you, it's the Mad Cow)

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