Don't you hate it when the car
behind you slams into yours and you can't get mad because that person's car was
actually already parked and the driver wasn't even there when it happened?
~~~~~
English is weird. It can be understood
through tough thorough thought, though.
~~~~~
Nothing embarrasses a Psychic more than throwing them a
surprise party.
~~~~~
People think living forever would be great, but in reality,
after the Earth died and all the stars were gone, you’d be alone, for
unfathomable gazillions of years, floating around in space, with nothing but
your thoughts.
~~~~~
That guy who made the movie
"300" got a lot of flak for the way the enemy army was portrayed. Oh,
c'mon -- it's not like he chose monstrous-looking actors just to cast
aspersians.
~~~~~
Not to brag or anything, but I finished my
14-day diet in 3 hours and 27 minutes.
~~~~~
A butt dial and a booty call sound like
they could be the same thing.
But they’re not.
~~~~~
Whoever snuck the “s” into “fast food” was a marketing
GENIUS
~~~~~
Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards
create backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
~~~~~
I hate it when people tell me stories about
mythological fire-breathing reptiles. They always seem to drag on.
I’ll show myself out.
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