NOTICE!

SKIP'S HOUSE OF CHAOS IS BACK!

After a 9-month unavoidable absence, the original Skip's House of Chaos is back online. From now until December 31, both it and Chaos Unbridled (this one) will run concurrently. As of January 1, 2016, this site will become inactive (but all previous posts will remain available), and all new posts will be solely on the new (old) site.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Puns, Jokes, and One-Liners

Underneath it all, we’re all just a bunch of nudists.

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BREAKING NEWS: Small-scale earthquake completely destroys Etchasketchistan.

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If there’s two things I’ve learned in life, it’s that I really awful at counting.

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Me: “Ummm… how much is the rent for this amazing apartment?”
“Sir, this is the wine section at Safeway.”

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My friend was bleeding out after getting shot, and so I decided to help until the paramedics arrived.  It said in the First Aid book to “apply pressure.”

So I told him that if he doesn’t stop bleeding, he’s gonna die.

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British call cigarettes, “fags.”
They call homosexuals, “people.”

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A fossil of a jawbone was recently found that was believed to be over 1,000,000 years old.

Scientists knew that it belonged to a woman as it was still moving.


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