Random Status Updates

Astrological Forecast – April 15, 1912

Who will die on the Titanic?

    - Aquarius – no

    - Pisces – no

    - Aries – no

    - Taurus – no

    - Gemini – no

    - Cancer – no

    - Virgo – no

    - Libra – no

    - Scorpio – no

    - Sagittarius – no

    - Leo – yes

    - Capricorn – no

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My little sister once told me that “floccinaucinihilipilification” is the longest word in the English language.  While some might disagree, the word itself means “worthless, or estimated as worthless”, which is ironic since the word itself is completely worthless in conversation with virtually every normal human being, unless you are trying to confuse them.

I hope you found this interesting.

If not, I guess this particular post was floccinaucinihilipilification.

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Kate Moss says, “Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels.”

I’m pretty sure she says that because she lives in England.

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How long does it take for a werewolf to kill an entire village?

Lycan hour or so.

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On the bright side, selfie sticks (henceforth to be known as “narcissisticks”) can also act as lightning rods.

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Types of Nuts

     - boiled

     - salted

     - roasted

     - assorted

     - deez

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Getting a lap dance is a like being in a restaurant with everyone, including the staff, singing happy birthday to you. It’s a nice gesture and you want to enjoy it, but it’s just awkward and you don’t know what you’re supposed to do while it’s happening.

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Handy Life Hack: If you ever run out of eye drops, just reach in and yank out two or three nose hairs.

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My ex-step-brother-in-law has an allergy to certain wheat products, but he still tries to eat them whenever he can. I think he's just a gluten for punishment.