S'more Jokes, Puns, and One-Liners

“But I can’t conquer China, it’s way too big…”

Now Genghis, what do we always say?

*Sigh*

“I’m Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan’t”

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The worst thing about being self-employed is that your boss also thinks it’s a great idea to just go play Jetpack Joyride.

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I’m an adult male, and I have never, ever noticed if a woman’s thighs touch or not.

I’m usually more focused on, “Yay, a woman! I like those!”

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I want to create a Facebook account and the name will be “Nobody.” That way, when I see some of the dumb sh*t people post, I can “like” it and it will say, “Nobody likes this.”

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“Meetings” – What Jamaicans call everything they own.

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Why couldn’t the Sith Lord keep his lightsaber still?

He had Darth-ritis.

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Saying “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” basically mean the same thing…

         …except at a funeral…

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Do you want to hear a Jonestown joke?

Actually, never mind. The punch line was too long.

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If a girl says, “First of all”, just run. There has never, in the history of mankind, been a good “first of all”.  You’ve never heard a girl say, “First of all, we’re going to have sex.” “First of all” means that girl has done research, has data and pie charts ready, and you are done.

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The friendzone is sort of like when someone turns you down for a job, then calls you every week and complains about the guy they hired.