The US population is
about 60% female, so a lot of you women are going to die alone.
Keep that in mind the
next time you get my text.
~~~~~
We learned in Philosophy
class that witches were portrayed as riding broomsticks because back in the
day, it was a euphemism for riding the devil’s penis.
Well, Quidditch just got
awkward…
~~~~~
Add this to the things
I’d love to see in a Harry Potter movie…
A Muggle-born student
gets called a “mudblood,” so they lick their hand and wipe it on the
pureblood’s face, singing, “Got mud on your face, you big disgrace, somebody
better put you back into your place!”
And all the muggleborns
in the vicinity immediately start going, “STOMP STOMP CLAP” repeatedly, while
moving closer and closer to the pureblood.
~~~~~
Speaking of the
Potterverse, is it just me or does “Oscar Pistorius” sound like a spell Harry
Potter would say to make your legs fall off?
~~~~~
Look, I’m not
necessarily advocating for bringing the institution back, but you sure could
get a lot done with 40,000 slaves.
~~~~~
As an organ donor, I’m
just wondering if there’s some sort of a box to check that will require the
doctors to say, “Kali Ma” when they take the heart out?
~~~~~
“What do we want?”
“Gradual change!”
“When do we want it?”
“In due course!”
~~~~~
There is an age when
riding your bike without holding the handlebars just makes you look like a
dick.
~~~~~
So, I just finished watching a movie on Netflix, and the first one on my suggestions page was “A Bug’s Life”.
So basically, I didn’t choose A Bug’s Life. A Bug’s Life chose me.
No comments:
Post a Comment