Halloween Humor

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Last Halloween, I went to a costume party. I spotted a guy dressed in a monkey costume with a jar of peanut butter in one hand and a chocolate bar in the other. I asked him what he was dressed as, and he replied, “I’m a Reese’s Monkey.”

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A man is walking home alone late one foggy night... when behind him, he hears Bump... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man sprints toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him FASTER... FASTER... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping-clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and.......

…the coffin stops

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This guy goes to a Halloween costume party, but he’s just wearing street clothes, and he has his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.

The host says to him, “Dude, this is a Halloween party! You’re supposed to be wearing a costume?”

The guy replies, I am wearing a costume! I’m a snail!”

“You’re a snail?”

“Yeah, I’m a snail,” says the guy. Then he points to his girlfriend and says, “This is Michelle.”

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Simplest, yet most effective

Halloween treat:

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So Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t celebrate Halloween.

Apparently they don’t appreciate strangers knocking on their door.