Dad Jokes I've used at restaurants. A lot.

Server (when she sees I haven't eaten all my food): “Do you want a box for that?”

Me: “No, but I’ll wrestle you for it!”

(To server): “Do you take orders to go?”

Server: “Yes, sir!”

“Good, get your coat.”

“I’ll have the clam chowder, please.”
“Would you like a cup or a bowl?”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea, otherwise it’ll just go all over the table”

Server: Be careful of the plate, it’s hot.

Me: That’s okay, so am I

Server: What would you like?

Me: World peace, and end to poverty, and a date with Scarlett Johansson

And my absolute, all-time, go to joke at an Asian restaurant, reading my fortune cookie:

“That… wasn’t… chicken…”