NOTICE!

SKIP'S HOUSE OF CHAOS IS BACK!

After a 9-month unavoidable absence, the original Skip's House of Chaos is back online. From now until December 31, both it and Chaos Unbridled (this one) will run concurrently. As of January 1, 2016, this site will become inactive (but all previous posts will remain available), and all new posts will be solely on the new (old) site.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

In this week's "Oh-PLEASE-Let-This-Not-Suck" department...

Midnight tonight, little ducks...


20 True Facts (and their sources)

1. A study has found that women look their oldest at 3:30 PM every Wednesday.
     (source)

2. After completion of a $40 million project that lasted 10 years, the Leaning Tower of Pisa stopped moving for the first time in its 800-year history. The tower is now expected to stay stable for at least 200 years.
     (source)

3. In Japan, crooked teeth in girls is considered cute and attractive. Some girls actually undergo procedures to unstraighten their teeth.
     (source)

4. It was common for hospitals in Germany to have a brewery. Patients would get a beer before going to bed.
     (source)

5. In 1956, for a bet, and while drunk, Thomas Fitzpatrick stole a small plane in New Jersey and then landed it perfectly on a narrow Manhattan street in front of the bar he had been drinking at. Then, two years later, he did it again after a man didn’t believe he had done it the first time.
     (source)

6. Termites are being researched as a possible renewable energy source as they can produce up to 2 liters of hydrogen from ingesting a single sheet of paper, making them one of the planet’s most efficient bio-reactors.
     (source)

7. 80% of males born in the Soviet Union in 1923 did not survive World War II.
     (source)

8. Fair Oaks Farms in Indiana produces compressed natural gas from its cows’ waste and uses it to fuel their fleet of delivery trucks and farm equipment. This practice saves 1.5 million gallons of diesel and reduced CO2 emissions by 1.4 million metric tons.
     (source)

9. During World War II, prisoners of war in Canada were treated so nicely that they didn’t want to leave Canada when released.
     (source)

10. The Oktoberfest started off as a wedding reception for a prince in Bavaria in 1810. The newlyweds enjoyed it so much they suggested making it an annual event.
     (source)

11. Tania Head, a well-known 9/11 survivor, actually faced being in the South Tower during the attacks, and served as President of the WTC Survivors Network before people found out she had been lying. She wasn’t even in the United States during the attacks.
     (source)

12. When playing an American character, Christian Bale will give all his press interviews in an American accent to avoid confusing the audience.
     (source)

13. In response to her husband’s infidelity, a woman from Prague decided to commit suicide by jumping from her third-story balcony. By chance she happened to land on her spouse standing below, cushioning her fall. She survived, but he died.
     (source)

14. There are more tigers privately owned by US citizens than live in the wild worldwide.
     (source)

15. Child beauty pageants are illegal in France, and punishable with up to 2 years in prison.
     (source)

16. A survivor of the Columbine High School massacre went on the attend Virginia Tech during the time of the Virginia Tech massacre.
     (source)

17. The screenwriter for the movie “Cast Away” stranded himself on an island for research, and when a volleyball washed up on shore, it became the inspiration for “Wilson.”
     (source)

18. Sean Connery was offered the opportunity to play for Manchester United, but chose to decline it and move on to the film industry.
     (source)

19. Keith Richards heard the riff to “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” in a dream. He woke up, played the riff on a tape recorder and mumbled, “I can’t get no satisfaction,” then went back to sleep.
     (source)

20. In 1984, Jennifer Thompson-Cannino mistakenly identified Ronald Cotton as her rapist. Cotton spent 11 years in prison until DNA evidence proved his innocence. Upon his release, the two became good friends and currently travel the country speaking of the dangers of false identification.

     (source)


(via)

Thanks, Obama....



I laughed way too hard at this...

Even Superheroes Make Mistakes


Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Good advice...




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Website Wednesday 15.17

"Peeing like a baby on a changing table
into the brisk digital wind..."




            I’m thinking that so many of the conflicts back in
            the Wild West could have been avoided if the city
            planners had made the towns big enough for everyone.


Top of the Heap:  I knew it! I knew it! 11 Reasons Why You Should Drink Coffee Every Day

Around the World in 18 Offensive Gestures

Interested in space? Spaceflight Now features current news, ongoing missions, upcoming launches, and archived articles

May the forced perspective be with you - 12 examples

9 Strange Sounds That No One Can Explain

8 Food Myths debunked

Mmmmm - Coffee and Dessert Pairing Guide

You can now download your Google search history

Scientist discover a species of frog that looks remarkably like Kermit

Surely you can't be serious: An oral history of Airplane!

The Illusion of Choice

13 Everyday Things That Are Difficult to Do in Space

6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can't Explain

What can kill us so quickly that we wouldn't even know?

The Most Popular Movie From Each State - in One Surprising Map

Y'ever wonder how the donkey and the elephant became political mascots? (Me neither)

37 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Netflix

20 Helpful Charts That Will Make Your Life So Much Easier in the Kitchen

Same thing, but this time for Gardening

6 Bad Digital Habits - and How to Break Them




 Website Wednesday archives



(If you'd like to subscribe to the Website Wednesday mailing list,
shoot me an email and let me know)

The coolest gags in "Penguins of Madagascar"




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Inside the Blue Angels cockpit



Best viewed in full screen mode

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

What could possibly go wrong?




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True story...

When I was in the Navy, I was stationed aboard the USS Proteus.  After a particularly hectic week, I was looking forward to liberty ashore for the weekend.  As I was about to leave the ship, I followed protocol and first saluted the ensign (the US Flag), then turned to the Officer of the Deck (who, in this case, was also an ensign - not much older than I was), saluted, and said, "Request permission to go ashore, sir!"

He looked at me disdainfully and said, "Your hair is too long. Go below and get a haircut!"

I didn't know what to do. The ship's barbershop was closed, and there was no way I was going to trust any of my shipmates to give me a proper grooming. Quite the conundrum.

So, after about a half an hour, I went back to the gangplank, saluted the flag, then turned to the OOD, saluted and said, "Request permission to go ashore, sir! How do my shoes look NOW?"

He looked down at the freshly-polished shoes, returned my salute and said, "Much better. Permission granted."

Book Dedications









Where did your language originate


(click image to biggify)



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Monday, April 27, 2015

President Obama's Anger Translator

The highlight of the White House Correspondent’s Dinner this past weekend was the part where Obama brought in his “anger translator” to give some emotion to his normally dry reports on current events. “Luther” is played by Keegan-Michael Key of Key & Peele. As the speech progresses, it turns out that the President doesn’t really need someone to illustrate his anger all that much. How he kept a straight face during this, I’ll never know.


(Thanks, Miss C!)


Monday Mind Games

Time for a few
BRAIN TEASERS!

1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?
2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?
3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it’s highest, how many rungs are under water?
4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What colour is the bear?
5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?
6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?
7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?
8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first?
Same question, but the location is in Canada?
9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.
10. What can go up a chimney down, but can’t go down a chimney up? 
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the centre field?
12. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?

Find the answers by dragging your cursor between the asterisks

*
1. The word “incorrectly.” {Almost cracked your brain, didn’t you?}
2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.
3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Duh.
4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.
5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition. So… half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.
6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him. {Poor Sloppy.}
7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it’s still a hole: the absence of dirt. (And those of you who said 36 cubic feet are wrong for another reason, too. You would have needed the length measurement too. So you don’t even know how much air is in the hole.)
8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again. The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down…
9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78.
10. An umbrella.
11. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.
12. The temperature.

*

This week's lesson is about Camels



And that's how you tell them apart.

Class dismissed.

Happy Monday, Little Ducks


Sunday, April 26, 2015

Star Wars vs. Game of Thrones





(via)

So, you think you know everything?

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
All of the clocks in the movie “Pulp Fiction” are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Los Angeles’ full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula.”
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister and was a sniper in Vietnam.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
“Stewardesses” is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
… NOW you know everything.

Wait till his father hears about this...




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"Call of Duty" in a nutshell




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Saturday, April 25, 2015

Existential Trolling



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Alzheimer's Test

It takes less than 15 seconds…


If you are over 45 years old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test:

How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?

1. _ _NDOM


2. F_ _K


3. P_N_S


4. PU_S_


5. S_X


6. BOO_S












Answers:

1. RANDOM

2. FORK

3. PANTS

4. PULSE

5. SIX

6. BOOKS



You got all 6 wrong, didn't you?


You do NOT have Alzheimer's.


You ARE, however, a pervert.



(Thanks, Billy!)