BFF Donna and I were at Comic-Con this past summer and watched the Star Wars panel, which included the Director (J.J. Abrams), Producer (Kathleen Kennedy), and Writer (Lawrence Kasdan), along with Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamil, Harrison Ford, all of the new major cast members of this one (good guys AND bad), and a freakin' Star Wars CONCERT... so we've been pretty pumped to see this new movie.
But the franchise has had its ups and downs. The most controversial was, by far, the prequels. But George Lucas has a lot of detractors back in 1997 when he decided to digitally remaster the original trilogy.
When that occurred, I posted the following list in my now-defunct original website, Skip's House of Chaos (which I had to take down last March because of my boss who was, and is, suffering from Cranial Rectonology, and thought it might negatively impact his business. I've moved on. Both from the incredible insult, and him and his company).
So, while this is an INCREDIBLY dated post, I thought it was worth dusting off one last time.
THE ToP 10 SuRPRiSES iN
THE RE-MASTERED "STAR WARS”
10. Darth Vader's breathing problem fixed by use of Breathe Right Nose Strip.
9. Added scene in which Tonya Harding whacks Princess Lea on the knee with a light saber.
8. Newly-colorized Darth Vader is mauve.
7. Revealing bathroom scene shows how Han Solo got his name.
6. C3PO has a conspicuous "Intel Inside" sticker on his shiny brass ass.
5. Han, Luke, Obi-Wan, and C3PO now sporting bitchin' goatees.
4. New scene where Luke shakes JFK's hand and tells him he has to pee.
3. Jabba the Butt-head saying, "Heh heh…heh heh...she said, 'Lay ya.'..Heh heh…heh heh…"
2. Anti-fur activists from planet PETA spray Chewbacca with red paint.
1. During one lonely night, Princess Lea finds R2D2's special attachment.
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