NOTICE!

SKIP'S HOUSE OF CHAOS IS BACK!

After a 9-month unavoidable absence, the original Skip's House of Chaos is back online. From now until December 31, both it and Chaos Unbridled (this one) will run concurrently. As of January 1, 2016, this site will become inactive (but all previous posts will remain available), and all new posts will be solely on the new (old) site.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Puns, Jokes and One-Liners


The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from they day you were born and only stops when you’re taking a test or talking to someone attractive.

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What’s green and eats nuts?
Syphilis.

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What do you call a 2000-pound toilet that sings?
El Ton John

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I used to have a quite successful origami business.
But then it folded.

   (Ba-DUM, tsss)

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Call me old fashioned, but I prefer girls with eyebrows made out of hair.

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I wish people randomly offered me weed as much as middle school health classes made it seem they would.

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How do you tell a plumber from a chemist?
Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”

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A Mexican magician tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of three. He then says, “Uno, dos…” and then *POOF*

He disappeared without a tres.

~~~~~


If I was a rapper, I’d be Lay-Z

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