Really
all you need to know about the American healthcare system is that there’s a
popular TV series where a man turns to cooking industrial quantities of crystal
meth in order to pay his hospital bills.
~~~~~
What do
you call breasts that are exactly the same size?
Identitties
~~~~~
Interviewer:
“How would you describe yourself?”
Me: “Verbally, but I’ve also prepared a dance.”
~~~~~
I hate
being bipolar. It’s great!
I love
having narcolepsy, it’s
I hate
having epilepsy, it’dhasd*&()*&90*&{]]$#!
I really
dig having necrophilia
Being
passive-aggressive sucks. Not that you’d care.
I
totally hate having amnesia. It’s… ... damn it…
~~~~~
I prefer
not to recount the details of my youthful indiscretions. Part of it is because
I don't want to set a bad example for the young people of today, but it’s
mainly because I'm not exactly sure when the statute of limitations expires.
~~~~~
I have
butterflies in my stomach today. I also have a lifetime ban from the entomology
section at the Natural History Museum.
~~~~~
I failed
my italic writing class with straight “A’s”
~~~~~
Did you
hear about the nearsighted circumciser?
He got
the sack.
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